Christmas Tips.

1. Wrap your gifts with newspaper.
2. Smile at everyone, especially people that look grumpy, sad, under the weather, angry, crippled, or pregnant.
3. Buy your friends coffee and sing things to them instead of regularly speaking.
4. Don't buy anything from Wal-mart at any time of the year under any circumstances for ANY person. This includes buying for people you must buy shitty gifts for like secret santa etc (which by the way shouldn't be shitty at all), also don't use their photo facilities (they think that photographing a family of six all wearing baby blue shirts is a good idea).
5. It's like flogging a dead horse but... get creative with your gifts. Instead of Starbucks giftcard, get them a book about civil engineering or vegan food or merengue, salsa and tango.
6. Buy things for people because you really want to buy them that thing, with no thought in mind about buying because you think they'll buy for you too.
7. Instead of sending christmas cards that are mass-printed for discount around easter to be shelved 'til December that tend to be EXTREMELY religious or other generic greetings.
At least throw in a cool photo, or some hairs from your cat, or a poem that a person who had a crush on you when you were in grade three gave you.
8. Don't be scared to eat that last nanaimo bar. You want it so bad. You'll think about it for days. Besides, holiday eating is always accompanied with the very earnest New Years resolutions for weight loss etc, whether they are or aren't fulfilled.
9. Eat the fruitcake out of sheer respect and make it look like you fucking love it.
10. Call me and tell me that you dream about me in a Santa suit with cowboy boots and a paintball gun.